Arsenal routinely glided past Bayer Leverkusen to become the first, and so far only, English side to progress to the Champions League quarterfinal, remaining the lone undefeated team in this year’s tournament. For the fourth time in five years, Manchester City were knocked out by resident European sleep paralysis demon Real Madrid, while Liam Rosenior was given an education by Luis Enrique, emphatically losing 8-2 over two legs in Chelsea’s heaviest aggregate defeat in this competition since 2020.

Today, the Premier League’s remaining bastions of hope are on precarious ground. Tottenham Hotspur fight for pride, something they may have rediscovered after battling bravely at Anfield on Sunday, but qualification currently feels less likely than a Timothée Chalamet Oscar win this decade. Liverpool’s scriptwriters need to concoct one of those famous European nights to overcome a 1-0 deficit against Galatasaray, while Newcastle must defy history and logic to defeat Barcelona at the Spotify Camp Nou. Honestly, we are sat.

More: Here’s a look at where the Champions League bracket currently stands. 🏆

ii. With Chelsea and Manchester City both getting the boot yesterday, it makes us wonder: Why does the world's richest league seem to struggle in the UCL knockouts? Luckily, Rog and Rory Smith might have the answer. Watch their recent chat about why the Premier League keeps suffering in Europe here. 📺

iii. Speaking of Rog, make sure to join him and James Horncastle TODAY for “Big Match Breakdown LIVE” on YouTube at 6 p.m. ET immediately after the whistles blow. Come be with us. 🍻

iv. The biggest non-Champions League story in football today goes to Senegal's AFCON final win getting overturned with Morocco declared as the new winners. Dive into all of that chaos here. 🤯

v. If you need a slight breather from the UCL action today, please watch this absolute banger from the Richmond Kickers’ Lucca Dourado in the US Open Cup. USL1 never disappoints. 🚀

Cheers,
Tommy Stewart & Max Bonem

PS - Well, at least Leverkusen’s social media admin had a good time yesterday. 😂

Arsenal 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 2-0 Bayer Leverkusen 🇩🇪 (3-1 Agg.)

While England’s rich cluster of No 10s all slump, Eberechi Eze has become decisively clutch as the World Cup draws ever closer. His first Champions League goal was a worldie from distance that even veteran Leverkusen goalkeeper Janis Blaswich couldn’t keep out, despite his early highlight reel of impossible acrobatics.

Against a resolute, all-hands-on-deck defensive unit, at times Mikel Arteta’s side played the sort of fluid football that Arsenal were once famous for, reminding doubters that they’re not just a set-piece pony. Talisman Declan Rice doubled the lead in the second half with his first UCL goal of the season, another long-range beauty that was reflective of his dominant midfield display. With all four trophies still on the table, the Gunners seem destined to end their silverware drought this season. Next up, City in Sunday’s EFL Cup final.

Man City 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 1-2 Real Madrid 🇪🇸 (1-5 Agg.)

For the opening 20 minutes at the Etihad, it felt like Manchester City could confound recent history against Real Madrid, but unfortunately for them, Bernardo Silva and his elbow had other plans. The 31-year-old City captain timed his first-ever red card horrendously, and the guilt on his face confirmed his handball to prevent a Vinícius Júnior goal before VAR needed to.

The Brazilian relished his antagonist status by finishing the penalty and drinking the tears of his enemies, becoming the proud human embodiment of schadenfreude. Erling Haaland’s goal was a meager consolation and as the Etihad emptied, it was of course Viní Jr. who confirmed Los Blancos’ third consecutive UCL knockout of Pep Guardiola’s side. Regardless of the result, Pep’s audition for Madrid fashion week was a success, as his Seattle lumberjack look defied all previous managerial conventions and allowed us to finally forgive his hooded grey cardigan era.

More: This Haaland interview… did not age well.

Chelsea 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 0-3 PSG 🇫🇷 (2-8 Agg.)

Chelsea were disdainfully chewed up and spat out like bad escargot in Paris last week, and within 14 minutes at Stamford Bridge yesterday, they were 2-0 down in humiliating fashion. Luis Enrique’s side had clearly held on to the pain of last year’s Club World Cup final, but Khvicha Kvaratskhelia and Bradley Barcola’s stunning opening salvo laid to rest the demons of New Jersey. Liam Rosenior perhaps showed naivety by picking Chelsea’s youngest ever XI in a UCL knockout game, but with over $2 billion spent on largely prospective talent in four years, fundamental questions must be asked of Todd Boehly. Senny Mayulu scored a beautiful third, but by then the Bridge was already soundtracked by pockets of silence and PSG’s militant ultras, as locals found more fun on their phones during the drubbing.

Sporting CP 🇵🇹 5-0 Bodø/Glimt 🇳🇴 (5-3 Agg.)

Although Sporting needed extra time to finish the job, it was apparent from the first whistle that they wouldn’t leave the José Alvalade Stadium without burning Bodø/Glimt’s fairytale script yesterday. No one saw the Norwegians coming, and their defeats of Manchester City, Atlético Madrid and Inter Milan will live in history, but Rui Borges is quietly performing his own miracles in Lisbon. After Ruben Amorim left, he picked up the pieces and won the Primeira Liga last season, but to secure automatic qualification from the brutal UCL league phase and then overturn a 3-0 deficit with five different goal scorers to reach the quarterfinal, is remarkable. With Bodø gone, Sporting are now the true underdog story of this year’s tournament.

More: Watch Sporting’s fans serenade their players after last night’s historic win.

Barcelona 🇪🇸 vs. Newcastle 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 (TODAY, 1:45 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

With the curtain-closing kick of last week’s game, Lamine Yamal’s penalty sucker-punched Newcastle, utterly altering the complexion of this tie and the tone of Eddie Howe’s team talk today. The Magpies’ manager can, however, extract hope from the tournament’s second top goalscorer Antony Gordon, who will salivate at facing a Barcelona defense who haven’t kept a clean sheet in their last 12 UCL games. Hansi Flick says he will end his career at Barcelona, but the German manager surely won’t walk off into the Catalonian sunset until he and his deeply talented squad lift the European Cup.

Liverpool 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 vs. Galatasaray 🇹🇷 (TODAY, 4 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

Liverpool have won one of their past four games, all of which have been against theoretically weaker opposition, and after the blanket of boos that covered Anfield on Sunday, Arne Slot knows his season, and possibly future, rests on this tie. Galatasaray fans venerate Victor Osimhen, who ran the Reds ragged in Istanbul last week, and while at the other end of the pitch the Turkish side have only kept three clean sheets in their last 33 UEFA matches, two of those have been against Liverpool.

More: If you haven’t done so before, take the time to read Osimhen’s beautiful, tragic and inspirational story.

Tottenham 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 vs. Atlético Madrid 🇪🇸 (TODAY, 4 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

If Tottenham can consign that nightmare first half in the Metropolitano to history, and if like Tony Soprano, Igor Tudor can reserve his trauma for therapy, Spurs have a sliver of hope today. They drew the second half against Atlético Madrid, held Liverpool at Anfield and are unbeaten in their last 24 home matches in UEFA competition, but perhaps their relegation battle would benefit from being honorably knocked out of this competition. Cristian Romero and Micky van de Ven should return to face Atléti’s lethal Julián Alvarez, who’s scored 13 in his last 16 UCL appearances.

More: van de Ven says Spurs’ players do care, which is… reassuring?

Bayern Munich 🇩🇪 vs. Atalanta 🇮🇹 (TODAY, 4 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

Vincent Kompany would be a very brave man to restrain a rested and hungry Harry Kane against a doomed Atalanta side, who are essentially flying to Munich to attend their own footballing funeral. However, with all of Bayern’s senior goalkeepers injured, the England captain might have to put his Arthurian quest for goals on hold and strap on the gloves once more.

Who was Tottenham’s attacking midfielder when Gareth Bale stole Maicon’s soul in their 2010/11 UCL group stage match against Inter Milan?

Email us (or reply to this newsletter) with your answer for a chance to win a much-coveted MiB patch!

Our last winner: Congratulations to Zach Kelly who was the first to correctly answer that Mr. Versatile, Mikel Merino, was Arsenal’s striker in last year’s UCL quarter-final win against Real Madrid at the Bernabéu. Your patch in the post, Zach! 📮

👋 We’ll see you again tomorrow. In the meantime, keep sending your stories, questions, and theories about Pep’s time in Soundgarden to [email protected].

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