Sit back and relax, because it’s time for On the Continent, your weekly selection of European football antipasto:

ii. If you’re looking for a good read today, be sure to check out our friend Rory Smith’s new piece on Bayern’s strategy of hoovering up English talent in their bid for Champions League glory. Read that here. 📖

iii. We still can’t get enough of this beautiful Harry Kane-to-Luis Díaz finish from Tuesday’s UCL all-timer, so here’s a whole new angle to enjoy it from. 👀

iv. We can’t tell: Is this kit so bad it’s good? Or just bad? Or just good? 🤔

v. Lastly, in this week’s edition of collabs we didn’t know we needed, but are psyched exist: Spurs 🤝 Peppa Pig.

Cheers,
Tommy Stewart, Jacob Schneider & Max Bonem

P.S. Decidedly not football, but a great reminder of why NASA is awesome. 🌎

Thanks to Verizon Ultimate Access, attendees at our live show in Philadelphia will have a chance to win tickets to the biggest matches hitting our shores this summer.

Osasuna vs. Barcelona (Saturday, 3 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

With five games to go, Barcelona only need five points to retain the La Liga title, and should they beat Osasuna on Saturday and their neighbors Espanyol prevent Real Madrid from winning the next day, the trophy is theirs. That would mean Álvaro Arbeloa’s side would be forced to give the incumbent champions a reluctant guard of honor when they meet on May 10, which would make for some highly memeable TV. Hansi Flick seems set to extend his reign in Catalonia, but the future of Barça’s on-loan forward, Marcus Rashford, is less certain. The Blaugrana reportedly regret ending up with him instead of Luis Díaz, a move that in hindsight looks like buying a Ford instead of a Ferrari. 

More: Here are all the permutations on how and when Barcelona can win the league.

Sevilla vs. Real Sociedad (Monday, 3 p.m. ET, ESPN+)

Sevilla haven’t dipped their toes into the Segunda division for 26 years, but they’re currently dwelling in 18th place in La Liga, and with five losses in their last six, relegation is now far too tangible. Since that last happened, Los Nervionenses have enjoyed a golden period in their history, winning a record-breaking seven Europa League titles, two Copa del Reys and a UEFA Super Cup. For context, their submergence has drawn parallels with Tottenham Hotspur’s current existential malaise in the Premier League. Manager Luis Garcia said, “Sometimes football is a real bastard,” and while hope is not lost, next Monday they host Pellegrino Matarazzo’s ascending Copa del Rey kings, Real Sociedad, which kind of solidifies Garcia’s proclamation.

More: Fatalism and fear stalk Sevilla.

Inter Milan vs. Parma (Sunday, 2:45 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

If AC Milan and Napoli lose this weekend, Inter could be Serie A champions before even kicking a ball on Sunday. With four league matches remaining, Cristian Chivu’s inaugural season as manager of the club he won the treble for as a player is one of the few beams of light in the otherwise gloomy world of Italian football. Even if their rivals win, the Nerazzurri just need to beat 12th-placed Parma at the San Siro for Chivu to become the second-ever manager to win the Scudetto at the club as both player and coach. With 16 goals so far, Lautaro Martínez should continue to canter towards Serie A’s top goalscorer award, which is one of many reasons Barcelona are reportedly keeping tabs on the Argentine as Robert Lewandowski’s replacement.

Como vs. Napoli (Saturday, 12 p.m. ET, Paramount+)

While Napoli’s Scudetto defense has been tepid at best, their Champions League spot for next year is pretty much guaranteed, but for Como 1907, history beckons. The club’s highest-ever Serie A finish was sixth place in 1950, and in just their second season back in the top flight after 21 years away, Cesc Fabregas’ side are currently fifth, just one spot off the Champions League places. Not only that, but they’ve done it with uncompromising panache, playing the fluid attacking football that saw them promoted from Serie B two years ago. Even if he leaves at the end of the season, Como’s first European adventure would probably cement Fabregas as their greatest ever coach. So, senza fretta, Cesc.

Hoffenheim vs. Stuttgart (Saturday, 9:30 a.m. ET, ESPN+)

With Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund already on the plane, four teams are fighting for the two remaining seats on the Bundesliga’s flight to the Champions League next season. Sebastian Hoeneß’s DFB-Pokal finalists Stuttgart and Christian Ilzer’s Hoffenheim are fourth and fifth respectively, level on points and ready to go to war in this UCL six-pointer. Stuttgart are one of the league’s best attacking sides and Hoeneß is being linked to Europe’s super clubs, but insists he’s “super happy” in Germany. Meanwhile, Hoffenheim have rocketed from battling relegation last season to bordering on UCL football by covering more ground than anyone in the league with Ilzer’s high-intensity football. 

Serendipitously, the other two German sides in direct competition for Champions League football, Bayer Leverkusen and RB Leipzig, will also play each other on Saturday (12:30 p.m. ET, ESPN+). Cook up some brats, pour a Pilsner, sit back and enjoy the chaos.

More: It’s crunch time in the Bundesliga’s Champions League chase.

Bayern Munich vs. Heidenheim (Saturday, 9:30 a.m. ET, ESPN+)

It’s top vs. bottom as Bundesliga champs Bayern Munich take a much-needed pit stop between a UCL semifinal two-legger with PSG that is so epic, it’s so far made the Trojan War look like Mario Kart. Ahead of the second leg in Munich next week, Vincent Kompany may rest his mythical front three, who hit the fabled 100 goal milestone on Tuesday, but with his side eight away from Real Madrid’s all-time record for league goals in a single season, he’ll be tempted to go gung-ho. Heidenheim have won two of their last three games and can still (theoretically) stay in the Bundesliga, which would be a fairytale ending to legendary manager Frank Schmidt’s career.

No speed limit. Get yours now.

🇩🇰 Denmark’s AGF Could Make History

Aarhus checks notes Gymnastikforening (you’ll never sing that), are so obscure, their club badge doesn’t even show up when you Google “Danish Superliga” and yet, they could be on the brink of history. De Hvii'e (the Whites) haven’t won the league for 40 years, and during that period they’ve been a yo-yo side, suffering three relegations. With three games left, they’re level on points with FC Midtjylland, who they drew 0-0 with on Sunday in one of Danish football’s most watched matches in history. Like Hearts in Scotland and Thun in Switzerland, if AGF can get over the line, it would put them alongside Leicester City and Buster Douglas as one of sport’s all-time greatest underdog successes.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 A Quick Update on the Season’s Wildest Title Race

In the inaugural round of the Scottish Premier League’s decisive final five fixtures, Rangers fell at the first hurdle, losing 3-2 at home to Motherwell on Sunday, allowing Glaswegian neighbors Celtic to go a point above them into second after they convincingly beat Falkirk. Edinburgh’s Hearts remain top by three points having beaten Hibernian in last weekend’s Logan Roy derby, meaning the title could be decided on their final game of the season against Celtic. Before that, though, Rangers can claw their way back with a win against the leaders on Monday, while Martin O’Neill’s Bhoys travel to Edinburgh to face Hibs in a weird footballing wife swap.

More: It will feel dirty, but for 90 minutes, Celtic and Hearts fans might have to root for their crosstown rivals this weekend. 

Viewed widely as one of the most exciting young midfielders in the world, watching Lille’s Ayyoub Bouaddi play football is like a breath of fresh air on a crisp fall morning along the Deûle (we assume). His patience on the ball, vision in the center of the pitch and ability to play out of tight spaces reminds us of some of the greats, whether it be Luka Modrić or the ever-crafty Andrés Iniesta. The 18-year-old phenom could command a club-record fee this summer, and it will surprise no one if he’s running the midfield for one of the world’s best clubs over the next decade – with PSG, Liverpool and Arsenal all reportedly already chomping at the bit.

More: Bouaddi is a dual-national with both France and Morocco, and has yet to declare international allegiance. Read more about his decision-making here.

Congratulations to last week’s winner Scott Rich, who was the first to correctly answer that Matthias Sammer was the only coach who hadn’t managed Bayern Munich. Scott, send us your address and we’ll get a patch to you!

👋 We’ll see you again tomorrow. In the meantime, you can send us your stories, questions or theories to [email protected].

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