Hail GFOP!
I type with fingers filled with human astonishment after a stunning week in which Arsenal Football Club have reminded us all of the most humbling life truth: we know nothing.
Be honest, did you ever wave an Arsenal bottle in the air? Even mentally?
It was just 27 days ago that the Gunners’ own fans booed them off in defeat against Bournemouth. We then cast Manchester City as inevitable, nerveless hunters. Arsenal as the victim. Weak, dead-legged, “bottlers.” One squad managed by a winner who knows “how to do this,” and the other, by a nervous nellie who was self-sabotaging his own players by overwhelming them with his anxious Captain Ahab-esque obsession. I have had so many Arsenal fans on my timeline tell me three weeks ago they had come to accept they would never win anything with Arteta leading their team. Back then, the image of the season appeared to be the City fan swigging deliriously from his big bottle of Arsenal tears.
Cue Saka’s return. Gyökeres’ rebirth. Myles Lewis-Skelly’s second coming. Let history never forget Everton’s brave sacrifice which also gifted us a second image: the Manchester City bottle meme man standing there gobsmacked as his team bled out before his eyes. And what was that bulging banter bottle-shaped outline in his tracksuit? In the vein of Ernest Hemingway’s famous six-word story, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”—“Arsenal bottle, never pulled from pocket.”
So, what is the moral of this story? That Arsenal fans, who on Tuesday night’s Champions League semi-final victory approached levels of delirium known only to the Rapture, should retrospectively feel absurd? Or that booing works?
One prediction: There will be another twist and turn in this title race. There has to be. We anointed Liverpool as title winners five games into the season, then re-awarded it to Arsenal. Ripped it from them and handed it to Manchester City. Decided that was a mistake and gave it back to Arsenal after all, until the Etihad game when we declared City were home and dry. Not so fast, my friends… We have now decided it’s Arsenal again. This season has been football as the theater of the ridiculous. An experience that reflects the absurdity of our human existence through abandoned linear narratives, illogical situations and fractured language. And I could not love it more. 🙃
ii. We spoke to the maverick Rayan Cherki this week. I loved hearing him talk about what goes through his head when he takes possession of the football in the final third, and how boxing and art have made him the footballer he is. Watch it here. 🎯
iii. We are headed to the magnificent city of PHILADELPHIA next week to celebrate the World Cup to come with Eagles icon and Super Bowl champion Jordan Mailata, and Matt Quinn and Sotiris Eliopoulos from Mt. Joy among the guests. Thanks to Verizon Ultimate Access, attendees at our live show in Philly will have a chance to win a number of tickets to the summer's biggest matches right there in your seats. It will be a night of pure footballing joy in a city I adore. Grab your tickets. 🤩
DALLAS, you’re next: On May 20, we ride into the Longhorn Ballroom for a night appropriately sized for D-Town. We’ll be joined by a true sporting icon, Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey, a man who seized a first-round pick in the MLS before claiming his place among the NFL elite. Join us as we toast to the World Cup coming to Texas. 🏈
iv. What’s this? A highlight from Romania's second tier!? Meet 19-year-old Alin Techereș, aka the Romanian Erik Lamela. Take a bow, you’ve earned it. 😮💨
v. On this day in beautiful football history: Seven years ago, Spurs came from three goals down to beat Ajax in the Champions League semi-finals. Please enjoy the truly spiritual scenes after Lucas Moura's 96th-minute winner. To better days ahead for Tottenham fans everywhere. 🤍
vi. Lastly, if you want to feel positive about the World Cup, read my book. I wrote it with love so you can savor every second of World Cup wonder. Grab your copy NOW. 📚
Courage,
ROG
P.S. This one map tells you everything you need to know about today’s most successful football managers. 🗺️
Your Weekly Premier League Joy - Presented by New Balance 🍻
West Ham vs. Arsenal (Sunday, 11:30 a.m. ET, USA)
Arsenal are in control of their title-winning destiny, five points clear of Sauron-esque City who have played one game less. They will charge into this one, having qualified for the Champions League final and feeling that crippling sense of fated doom falling away. Speaking to Arsenal fans this week has been a truly magical experience. They had their belief eviscerated in April. They lost faith in Arteta and were rummaging for the receipt for Gyökeres to see if they could return him. Saka was never going to return to form. Now, Mikel feels like a motivational genius, the big Swede is the striker they needed and Saka is the Chosen One. This is what Arsenal does to you. It warps your brain, forcing you to live in a state of purgatory and contradiction. But you are on the way to glory and you would not have it any other way.
Forty points and 17 places separate these two teams. Arsenal should run rampant here—they have three wins in their last four league games against the Irons by an aggregate score of 13-2—but the existential angst of relegation empowers players to do extraordinary things. They will need to. The Hammers are back in the drop zone and full of fear. Their fellow doom rivals are on searing form. The 13 points Forest have gleaned in their last five games, and the seven Spurs have taken from three, are more title-race pace than cellar-knife fight.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: West Ham will draw a modicum of solace that they have not lost in six at home. Modicum is not enough. Gunners 2-1. Celebration police on patrol again, olé, olé.
More: Will Spurs fans be physically able to cheer for Arsenal if it means they dodge relegation, BUT the Gunners win the league?
Manchester City vs. Brentford (Saturday, 12:30 p.m. ET, NBC)
Everton-stung City have ceded title-race initiative to Arsenal. Brentford’s 22-goal monster Igor Thiago will not have been able to look at the tape of Thierno Barry offering all that space in behind City’s backline without salivating for kick off. Brentford’s stealth season of wonder has been born of the fast break.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: This statistic is incredible to me. We think of Pep’s City as title-chase monsters. They have dropped 17 points from winning positions this season—the club’s most since 2008-09—and 12 of those 17 points have come in 2026! Story of this game as the Bees score late again and hold on to deliver another Arsenal win, 1-1.
Burnley vs. Aston Villa (Sunday, 9 a.m. ET, Peacock)
Your Europa League finalists Aston Villa will momentarily lower their celebratory John McGinn finger-spectacles to return to action, on the cusp of their first silverware in 30 years. But what a feat Unai Emery has achieved. Gent has managed in 46% of the Europa League finals since 2014, reaching six with four different clubs over the course of 13 seasons: Sevilla (2014, 2015, 2016), Arsenal 2019, Villarreal 2021, and now, Aston Villa 2026. Every time he has led a team with “Villa” in their name, he has won. Sorry Arsenal.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Prince William’s boys win 1-0 in a truly forgettable game to announce themselves as the one true Claret-and-Blues.
Liverpool vs. Chelsea (Saturday, 7:30 a.m. ET, Peacock)
Finally, 11-league-loss-of-the-season Liverpool get to play a big club who are more of a hot mess than they are. Ninth-placed Chelsea are broken. Losers of six games in a row, shorn of motivation, morale and unable to defend. Their $350 million midfield undisciplined. Defending drunk. Purveyors of unfettered, individualistic, error-strewn football. The good news for the injury-stricken Reds is that they will lock down a top-five finish if/when they beat the Blues and if Bournemouth fail to win at Fulham.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Chelsea have lost seven successive league games only once in their history, way back in 1952. They will equal that record in limp, 2-0 surrender.
Fulham vs. Bournemouth (Saturday, 10 a.m. ET, USA)
Loose-tooth manager Clásico. Andoni Iraola has already announced he is leaving. Marco Silva’s contract runs out at the end of the season and is yet to determine his next step after five years at Fulham. Despite the uncertainty, the spoils of this game are enormous. Tiny Bournemouth are in sixth place. If Aston Villa win the Europa League, and finish in the top five of the Premier League, that becomes a Champions League golden ticket… Just typing that is remarkable for a team who have never experienced European football before. God bless the fruit, who are, pound for pound, the greatest team in football.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Fulham have been held goalless in five of their last seven. The good news, they score here. The bad, they lose to the Golden War Cherries 2-1.
Sunderland vs. Manchester United (Saturday, 10 a.m. ET, Peacock)
Michael Carrick has delivered United a return to the Champions League promised land. All that remains is for him to be rewarded with the permanent manager job and shake the shadow of Ole Gunnar Solskjær, which unfairly dogs him.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Carrick is extremely familiar with Régis Le Bris’ work with Sunderland, who beat him twice with Middlesbrough in the Championship last season. The 1-0 win (Bruno assist) is sweet vengeance.
Crystal Palace vs. Everton (Sunday, 9 a.m. ET Peacock)
Everton are fresh off one of their achievements of the season: “The mighty draw with Manchester City that helped Arsenal to the title™.” The joy I felt witnessing that fantastical night puts Crystal Palace’s very real achievements into even greater context. Watching them reach their first-ever European final last night was so humanly moving. After winning the FA Cup last season, then appearing to fall apart and have the heart of their team ripped out, to see them rise and soar towards silverware again is an immense achievement. Proof that tenacity is the greatest human value.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Everton are the first team in Premier League history to concede a result-altering goal in the 90th minute or later in three consecutive matches. That is a truly insane achievement. Peak Toffees in so many ways. It ends here. I actually see us winning this one against a very, very hungover Palace, 2-1.
Tottenham vs. Leeds United (Monday, 3 p.m. ET, USA)
The wait until Monday night may create either a sense of mania, or calm purpose, pending the outcome of West Ham’s game. With Peppa Pig as your spirit animal, there is no need to be afraid.
Rog-Stradamus 🔮: Everyone laughed when Roberto De Zerbi said his Spurs would win their last five games. Back-to-back victories have followed. This 2-1 win will make it a hat-trick. Whistle the “Great Escape” theme song. I predict sweet release.
🗓️ Full Premier League schedule here
Meanwhile… in the Championship: IT’S PLAYOFF TIME! 🏆
Wrexham narrowly missed out on the Championship playoffs after drawing with Middlesbrough on the last day of the season. Hull City claimed the league’s final spot and join the aforementioned Middlesbrough, Millwall, and Southampton in the fight to secure Premier League football and an estimated $250 million in added revenue alongside automatic promotees Coventry City and Ipswich Town. Despite Millwall finishing higher in the table, Southampton go into the postseason as the team to watch: manager Tonda Eckert's side are on a 19-game unbeaten streak heading into Saturday’s match at the Riverside.
Semi-Finals Leg One
Hull vs. Millwall (TODAY, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+)
Middlesbrough vs. Southampton (Saturday, 7:30 a.m. ET, Paramount+)
Semi-Finals Leg Two
Millwall vs. Hull City (Monday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+)
Southampton vs. Middlesbrough (Tuesday, 3 p.m. ET, Paramount+)
More: Spygate 2.0 (3.0?): Middlesbrough suspect Southampton analyst of spying on training in run-up to playoffs.
And: Here is the entire slate of playoffs up and down the league.
MiB Mad Libs 📝

This week’s phrase is:
“Chelsea declining to appoint Luis Enrique in 2023 is what _______ is to _______.”
Email us your submissions to be in contention to win a coveted MiB patch.
There were LOADS of great entries last week, but sadly there can only be one winner: Mighty Justin Giovagnoli.
“José Mourinho returning to Real Madrid aged 63 is akin to Elizabeth Taylor re-marrying Richard Burton. I bet it will work out this time.”
Justin, this gave me a much-needed laugh. We’ll get a patch in the mail to you shortly!
On the Continent 🌎
Barcelona vs. Real Madrid (Sunday, 3 p.m. ET, ESPN+)
A more dramatic week than a Nicholas Sparks novel, Real Madrid’s locker room is in shambles heading into El Clásico, where the Blaugrana could be declared La Liga champions at the Camp Nou in front of their home fans against their arch-rivals. Spanish scriptwriters are on one.
More: With Mbappé already out injured, both Federico Valverde and Aurélien Tchouaméni could miss out on the match after this stunning development.
Celtic vs. Rangers (Sunday, 7 a.m. ET, Paramount+)
An Old Firm derby for the ages awaits, and the Scottish title race could rest upon the result as a victor in the match stays alive in the race with first-placed Hearts, while a draw could see both fall out of contention, and any loser would likely be out of the running. Scottish scriptwriters outstripping even the Spanish creative.
More: How the three-way title race in Scotland is setting up for an all-time finish.
Bayer Leverkusen vs Stuttgart (Saturday, 9:30 a.m. ET, ESPN+)
The race for a UCL spot in the Bundesliga rests upon the result here as both teams head into the contest tied on 58 points, with Leverkusen in fourth and Stuttgart in fifth, respectively. An absolutely seismic match.
Not Football and All the Better for It 📖
These celebrity passport photos are mesmerizing.
The Voice That Revealed a Planet. Let's NOT use past tense in a headline about a beloved 100-year-old.
Wish You Were Her. Writer on a cruise trope never misses!
These Toilets in Venice Have the Art World Aflush. But has the Art World ever seen the men's toilets at the Philharmonic?
“In some ways, the world is cooked. But being a twelve-year-old still kind of eats.” The Life and Times of an American Tween.
I Want to Live Like Costco People. I wanna do whatever Costco people do.
Ted Turner, the Lost Tycoon. TCM and Jane Fonda's favorite ex-husband: What a legacy.
This Song Helped Me Through the Week: “Venus in the Zinnia” by Aldous Harding with H. Hawkline. Aldous is so immensely talented.
A GFOP Writes… ✍️
Daniel Jones writes: “I grew up in Sandy Lake, a small town in western Pennsylvania. My dad and I were big fans of Pirates baseball and Steelers football. My mom, Barb, has always been a casual sports fan. Back in 2019, I had encouraged her to watch a soccer game for my team, Liverpool. It was during their 44-game unbeaten Premier League streak. She was hooked immediately and has become a massive Liverpool supporter.
I have cherished immensely the bonding experience following LFC with my mom over the past seven years. Mother's Day is this month. I just wanted to say thank you to my mom for all of her encouragement and support to help me become the person that I am today. I love you, Mom!”
Danny, what a beautiful note. Football is, at its core, about the memories made between the generations. I do think Mother’s Day is one of the most important of the year. To thank mums for their unique love and care with which they have nourished us all—the kindness and consideration the world needs more of right now. Thank you to all mothers, especially Iliman Ndiaye’s.
Keep sending your stories and questions to [email protected]. WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
To better days ahead for all.
Let’s not take a moment watching football together for granted and make great memories.
Big love.
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